Parth Joshi

Instructor: Michael Grove

English 21003

Due 9/12/18

Introductory Letter

 

To be a university student in the twenty-first century could’ve not posed a grimmer trial to the minds of any international student or a parent, especially when you have not adapted to the system that I have gotten into. After a lot of brainstorming I couldn’t narrow down my long-term goals any further, but I am proud that I am going to pursue that I have been looking forward since I was a child. My short-term goal is to make most of this opportunity in terms of an A+ and also socially interacting with my fellow contemporaries. This seems to be the only short-term goal at this point, but as the semester progresses, I want to be able to be a better writer, at least so that I deliver my research in an efficient yet orderly way, explaining what I wish to achieve in this class.

My long-term goal is to pursue a career in research in the field of biotechnology. I wish to engage in research right from my undergraduate years, designed to encourage research in a host of biotechnology-related fields like structural biology, bioanalytical chemistry and biophysics excite my interest no end. This, in addition to over 220 researchers, a DNA sequencing facility, an NMR facility, a Nanofabrication facility, a Cryo-electron microscopy facility, and innovative research facility, is a dream setting for any aspiring student of biotechnology seeking to make a mark in his/ or her field. This course is evidently essential for me so that I don’t enter the field of my ‘dreams’ with a great lead in my hand. After I finish pursuing my bachelor’s degree, I would like to do my masters and eventually my Ph.D.

This can only be achieved not only in the company of great faculty but an equally dedicated and motivated student community eager to leverage most of what your university has to offer. Being among the best seats of learning in the world CCNY attracts the best minds from across the world, thereby creating a pool of knowledge and encouraging an environment where the fluid exchange of ideas gave rise to new and sometimes revolutionary schools of thoughts.

I wish to be a part of any of numerous research projects underway in this institute, I understand I will have to prove myself worthy of such a responsibility and as with everything else I look forward to this challenge. I have been brought up to believe that no contribution is too small, and every person can make a difference to the world around us, I have tried to live that philosophy, I look to continue my pursuits along those lines and expand my horizons through a range of interactions that an institute of this size and caliber promises.

 

Here is Professor Grove’s feedback:

Parth –

 

I can see you much more clearly in this revision, and while there are still some spotty bits, like a generic opening, and some cloudy referents in your second paragraph, this is, overall, a huge improvement, especially towards the end of this piece.  You’re at your best when you’re at your most specific, listing off elements that attracted you to CCNY, personal goals, and philosophical benchmarks that make you. If you can bring that precision to bear consistently in your work, I think you’ll ace your last few assignments.  Just remember to give yourself breathing room when you can.

 

4.5/5 – A-

 

• Professor Grove