Parth Joshi

Instructor: Michael Grove

English 21003

Due 9/12/18

Introductory Letter

To Be In A Student’s Shoes

To be a university student in the twenty-first century could’ve not posed a grimmer trial to the minds of any international student or a parent, especially when you have not adapted to the system that I have gotten into.

I have realized relatively early on in my life, that behind the glamorous façade of every successful career is a story of toil, disappointments and a persevering spirit. Thus I formed a firm conviction that a decision as crucial as one’s career should be based on solid grounds of factual information, and not perceptions often created by superfluous imagery; because I believe, to excel in my chosen discipline, I should not only be mentally prepared for the struggle en-route to achieving the highest levels of excellence and consequently success – but in ways welcome it with eager anticipation.

This can only be achieved not only in the company of great faculty but an equally dedicated and motivated student community eager to leverage most of what your university has to offer. Being among the best seats of learning in the world CCNY attracts the best minds from across the world, thereby creating a pool of knowledge and encouraging an environment where the fluid exchange of ideas gave rise to new and sometimes revolutionary schools of thoughts.

My short-term goal is to make most of this opportunity in terms of an A+ and also socially interacting with my fellow contemporaries. My long-term goal is to pursue a career in research. I wish to engage in research right from my undergraduate years, for example, the Benjamin Levich Institute research facilities which are designed to encourage research in a host of biotechnology-related fields like structural biology, bioanalytical chemistry, biophysics, nanobiology /nanofabrication, biocomplexity, and molecular virology excites my interest no end. This, in addition to over 220 researchers, DNA sequencing facility, NMR facility, Nanofabrication facility, Cryo-electron microscopy facility, and Physical Biochemistry Instrumentation Facility is a dream setting for any aspiring student of biotechnology seeking to make a mark in his/her field. This course is evidently essential for me so that I don’t enter the field of my ‘dreams’ with a great lead in my hand.

I wish to be a part of any of numerous research projects underway in this institute, I understand I will have to prove myself worthy of such a responsibility and as with everything else I look forward to this challenge. I have been brought up to believe that no contribution is too small and every person can make a difference to the world around us, I have tried to live that philosophy, I look to continue my pursuits along those lines and expand my horizons through a range of interactions that an institute of this size and caliber promises.

 

Here is Professor Grove’s feedback:

Parth –

In this letter, I mostly get a sense of your philosophy as a student, but I have relatively little information about where you actually want to take that philosophy, where you plan to direct it.  Some of the information you present to us is directly contradictory, and it often feels like you’re trying to talk around your own ideas, sometimes by phrasing things in a needlessly obtuse way, and sometimes by throwing in as many references as possible without explaining the relationship between those references, or the personal significance that they hold to you as a student.  Consider, for instance, the Benjamin Levich Institute for Physico-Chemical Hydrodynamics. It’s the only concrete detail you give us about what you’re interested in studying here, but some cursory research on it shows that its focus lies outside of biotechnology, which is what most of the buzzwords you present us with reference. The end result leaves me confused: are you interested in biotechnology, materials science, fluid dynamics, or the overlap between these fields?  To know, I’d need you to tell me directly and frankly.

Slow down.  Try to be direct in your writing.  I’d recommend working with a friend or a tutor to see how your ideas are being presented to your readers.  Expressing yourself clearly and concisely can sometimes be challenging, but if you focus your energy in that direction, I think you’ll be impressed with the results.  You’ll almost always be better served by engaging in an involved discussion of a narrow body of evidence, instead of bombarding your audience with more information than they can handle.

3.5/5 – C

– Professor Grove